Difficult Divorces: Splitting Up With a Narcissist

Woman looking in the mirror

The legal, financial, and emotional implications of a divorce can become even more difficult when you’re splitting up with a narcissist. It can be a long, drawn-out process if you head down the path unprepared.

We’ve created a roadmap so that you can make this challenging experience easier and move to the next chapter of your life seamlessly.

Is Your Spouse a Narcissist?

Mental conditions are serious matters and a diagnosis shouldn’t be thrown around carelessly. Even if your spouse is arrogant or mean spirited, that doesn’t necessarily make them a narcissist.

According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. Even then, behind their mask of confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Some people may have narcissistic tendencies without being diagnosed with NPD. In either case, this can make the divorce battle ahead an extremely difficult one.

Divorcing a Narcissist

If you’ve determined that your spouse is a narcissist or has narcissistic behavior, you need to understand that your divorce will play out differently than most. It’s important to remember that you are not alone in this journey, and there are plenty of resources and experts out there to guide you. Use the following tips to help you through your divorce.

Be Prepared for the Journey Ahead

When you’re splitting up with a narcissist, it’s crucial to set goals and expectations beforehand so that you have a clear path ahead of you. Your spouse’s strategy may be to trick you or make you feel insecure in the hopes that they “win.” If you are aware of their actions ahead of time, you won’t be caught off guard or surprised. Next, you should consult your attorney so they can best prepare for your case and create a strategy in your best interest.

Create a Thorough Pre-Divorce Plan

In any divorce, you should think about what issues you’re willing to concede on and what is non-negotiable. For example, obtaining legal custody or the family home may be a priority for you. When divorcing a narcissist, you need to take it a step further and begin gathering as much evidence while you have the foresight. Begin documenting including your bank accounts, mortgages, tax returns, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and valuable heirlooms.

Try to Remain Calm

Although you cannot control what your spouse says or does, you can control how you react. They will do everything in their power to push your buttons, and your responses in those moments is critical. When you come to the realization that their behavior is about them rather than you, you will be in a much better place. Do your best to avoid retaliating or challenging them.

Surround Yourself with a Support System

Divorcing a narcissist is emotionally draining, to say the least, and you should not be afraid of leaning on someone for help. Turn to your close family members and friends, or seek professional guidance from a therapist.

Let the Attorneys Handle the Rest

The lawyer you choose will make or break your divorce outcome, so you should choose carefully. Our Colorado Springs divorce attorneys at Law Office of Greg Quimby, P.C. are here to help you. We understand the challenges that come with divorcing a narcissist, and we won’t back down when things get tough. We will work compassionately with you and carefully craft a strategy that obtains the best outcome for you and your family.

Contact (719) 212-4227 to schedule a consultation with our Colorado Springs divorce attorneys.